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How Long Must I Wait?

Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau made their way into Hollywood lore through the movie Swingers.  You will have to suspend your disbelief not merely because Swingers is a movie but because Swingers is a movie that defined dating in the late 1990s.

Swingers taught us the industry standard for post-dating communications.  Wait a “day and then a day.”

Meet on a Saturday, and call her Monday evening at the earliest.  However for the more prolific dater, six days was the lag time.

I have asked many a man what they think about the waiting period.  Many think that there’s no reason to wait. Others say somewhere between a day or two after a good date. Still others have not departed from the Swingers‘ guide and can wait up to two weeks to make any contact with someone they like.

My sense from Swingers is not time so much as space. The time between the date seems less important as being careful to preserve the memory without texts, Facebook chats and countless other technological advances that Swingers did not contemplate.

My thought is to preserve the memory and create new ones on the dates that will follow.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts.  Please email me at